


I Just Want To Start A Flame In Your Heart

by WhiskeyDix (Zibomotua)



Series: Ignite! [1]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Dex is curious, Dex's POV, M/M, Slow Burn, this is my headcanon on how it happens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-06-02 07:47:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6558217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zibomotua/pseuds/WhiskeyDix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>WIlliam J Poindexter is awkward and uncomfortable with new things. Derek Nurse will hit on anything that moves. To Dex, he is a walking collection of new things. Therefore it's only logical that Dex would want absolutely nothing to do with his fellow defensemen, right? Only logic seems to be out the window on this one as the only thing Dex can think about is how infuriating it is that he seems to be the only person in the whole college that Nursey hasn’t hit on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Just Want To Start A Flame In Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Title from The Ink Spots song used in Fallout.
> 
> I started writing this before getting involved in the fandom but got the nerve to finish it after reading [Starkrogrs's headcanons](http://starkrogrs.tumblr.com/post/142544792292). Thank you for your sweet message!!<3

 

After summer conditioning, there were a few givens everyone had come to learn about their new D-pair.

 

  1. Dex was from a small conservative town and it was quite clear that his exposure to anything outside the town norm has been close to nonexistent. 


  1. Derek Nurse will hit on anything that moves. He hits on almost everyone on the hockey team, Shitty’s sister, and anyone else who happens to be in his path. He’s even hit on a sweet sorority girl at a Haus party in front of her own boyfriend. Let’s just say there’s more than a few reasons ‘Nursey Patrol’ was invented.



 

When Dex came to the realization of #2, he was like a kid bouncing on his chaps in a game of duck, duck, goose. He was restless to chase his fellow D-man around the circle. Everyone else had. Except he was stuck, figuratively sitting indian style while Nursey didn't even tap his head as he meandered by.

 

Chowder was the first to notice Dex’s frustration, but he had no such luck getting any clue out of Dex towards his behavior.

It was Bitty who really helped Dex start to open up. He invited the frog over to help him bake when he knew the Haus would be empty.

Dex started by giving Bitty the same speech he gave Chowder, finishing it was a long sigh. He could see Bitty studying him through his peripheral vision. He could tell Bitty didn't believe him. 

Dex took a long moment to collect his thoughts. Long enough for Bitty to go back to rolling out his dough into the perfectly uniform thickness it needed to be. 

 

The conversation seemed long over when Dex spoke again.

 

“He’s a real man whore.” Dex spoke in a depressed tone. “A real piece of work who hits on everything!”

 

Bitty snorts. Everyone knows that. 

 

“So why not me?  Am I so unappealing to him that he can’t even joke about it?”

 

Dex looks down at his shoes, embarrassed to be admitting the truth. It was foolish.

 

To Dex’s relief, Bitty doesn’t give him the ‘No, Dex! You’re beautiful! Don’t let him get you down!’ speech he was afraid of. 

Contrary to his statement, Dex is not low on self esteem. Sure, he’s never dated before but that was because between hockey, and holding odd jobs to pay for hockey, he hasn’t had any free time. Plus, he has amazing friends so it’s not like he’s lonely. He takes a breath and continues. 

 

“I just want my chance. My-” Dex makes an exasperated face and throws up air quotes  “’Rite of passage’ into Nursey’s friend zone, or whatever, that everyone else got to earn.”

 

“So what's your big comeback?” Bitty asks, elbow deep in the pan with his pie crust dough.

 

“What?”

 

“You must have some big, well thought out chirp you’re waiting to lay if you're so worked up about your chance to turn him down.” 

"Huh." Dex was so hung up on his frustration, he hadn't even thought about what he would say. Even in his fantasies he would only say “You wish," to which dream Nursey world reply “Yea, that's why I asked" and something about that answer always made Dex cut the daydream off at that point. 

 

“Dex, you are a really nice guy,” Dex rolls his eyes at the start of Bitty’s response. “But, you don’t quite come off as an open individual.”

 

“Open? To what? The idea of dating Nursey?!” 

 

Dex laughs through his response, but something clicks when he sees Bitty’s face drop.

 

“I’m not a homophobe, Bitty. I just-ugh-I just don’t have any experience with them?” 

 

Okay, ‘them’ was probably a bad choice of words. Dex slumps further into his chair at the table. He’s panicking now. He does the only thing he can think of which is to just blurt out his thought process as it comes and hope to God it’s okay.

 

“I’m always afraid I’m going to say something wrong and offensive, but when I try to say something good, it ends up being the absolute worst. I’m not good with my words, Bitty, I can’t say things in some calculated manner that comes out sounding perfect.” 

 

Dex stares out the window at the sidewalk, his eyes tracking student’s movements as they walk to and from campus. He hears the oven door open and the metallic thud of a raw pie hitting the rack and sliding in.

 

“I’m really sorry, Bitty. You’re right. Maybe I don't know how to be an open person.”

 

Bitty’s hand touches Dex’s shoulder tentatively at first, then squeezes. 

 

“Dex, everyone is different. All you need to do is accept that. If you don’t understand something, you should ask questions, but don’t make anyone else feel inferior just because they are different than you.” 

 

And yea, that maybe hurts Dex’s feelings to hear coming from Bitty’s mouth in such a sad tone. It’s true though, and he can’t be mad that his friend is just being honest with him. The world is a much bigger place than his small town and it’s been quite the culture shock since he arrived at Samwell.

 

Dex turns to stand and hugs Bittle tight. 

 

“Thanks, bro.” Is all he can say at this point. This whole conversation was far enough from his comfort zone to leave him too drained to think of any way to tell Bitty that he’s sorry for coming across as a closed up asshole. No puns intended.

 

“You know,” Dex mentions. “I can take a look at your oven for you sometime. I used to work in my Uncle’s repair shop. I know a thing or two.”

 

Bitty’s face lights up.

  
\---  
  


The first guy to hit on Dex is not Nursey. It’s a guy in his physics class who, Dex thinks, has been slowly sitting closer to him. Dex recognizes him from around the dorms and the gym. He wants to say he’s a soccer player but he's not sure. He thinks this could be a good chance to make new friends like a regular person.  

 

The 4th week of class, the guy is sitting at the end of his row. It's still a few minutes before class starts so the whole row is still empty. Dex takes a second to put himself in his 'friendly mood' and smiles over at the guy

 

“Yo, you look familiar? Do you live in Jones Hall?”

 

The guy looks over, startled, but smiles with the sort of confidence only a true bro has. “Yea, you too? I’ve seen you around.”

 

Dex pats the seat next to him and the guy moves seats. They chat quietly on and off through the whole lecture, paying attention when necessary, but swapping life stories when there's a lull in the lecture. The bro, Calvin, is actually not on a sports team but loves athletics. He volunteers as a ref for the IM leagues. He’s never played hockey but he admires the pure toughness it takes. 

 

“Man, its just so refreshing that a sport as tough as hockey holds up.” Calvin sighs.

 

“As opposed to...letting down?” Dex inquires.

 

“As opposed to getting soft, I guess. Like hockey’s just not hockey without the checking and the penalties.” Calvin makes gestures with his hands to go along with his explanation. “I know it might sound bad, but one of the reasons I love going to your games is all the roughhousing!”

 

“Is that why you were afraid to sit by me? I scare you?”

 

“More like intimidate me!”

 

“Well don’t be shy, I don't bite!”

 

“What if I wanted you to?”

 

Dex just raises his eyebrows, an involuntary action he does when he doesn't understand something someone just said. 

 

Calvin, just waggles his eyes and seductively says "one and four."

 

At first Dex laughs it off as he walks away, thinking it was just some odd parting phrase he’s never heard. His phone dings with a text from Nursey. There’s bro-time in the kitchen so he heads for the Haus. 

 

Dex spends his time walking to the Haus thinking about Calvin’s response. His curiosity gets the better of him and he starts trying to google it. It takes adding ‘samwell’ to the search bar for him to get some related results. He reads through the top article and walks the rest of the way buzzing and processing. Wait. Was Dex just...hit on?

 

The Frogs are helping Bitty bake some pies for Farmer’s bake sale. Dex is super quiet, wishing Nurse and Chow would leave so he could ask Bitty about Calvin in confidence. But they don't, so he just stews in his own thoughts until he can’t focus anymore.

 

“Um guys?” He asks tentatively. 

 

Nursey gives him an arched eyebrow. Chowder makes a ‘mhm?’ noise from where he’s measuring out flour. 

 

“That whole 1 and 4 thing, it's not true is it?” 

 

And wow, did that just come out all sorts of wrong. Dex mentally kicks himself. Dex didn't want to talk about his situation specifically in front of his fellow frogs, but he didn't know how to say ‘how would you know if a guy in your class was hitting on you?’ without making it obvious that...like...a guy had hit on him.

 

“Dude, your tight-ass butthole is so unchill” Derek leads with, wrinkling his nose and returning to smashing up cherries with more force.

 

“Ah shit, I didn’t mean it like that. I mean-So like how would you know if-Uh, nevermind.”

 

“How would you know if someone’s gay?” Chowder asks.

 

“NO! I mean how would-Would you-So they’re a guy right?” Dex is really good at digging himself a hole.

 

“Sometimes they are girls, too.” Nursey says

 

“I’m not talking about what gender you have to be to be gay! I'm talking about-”

 

“Dude, any gender can be gay”

 

“Yes I mean obviously both boys and girls are gay.”

 

“And genderfluid”

 

“And gender-what?!”

 

“Would you be weirded out if a girl hit on you?” Chowder interjects.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Seriously? You’re just saying that so you seem like less of a hypocrite.” Nursey is destroying those cherries and Bittle has to take the masher out of his hand.

 

“No, I believe I should be doing the hitting. On-I should be asking the girl out!”

 

“Dude your ears are so red right now,” Chowder says “They're, like, pretty big...” 

 

“Dude, Chow, chill. He was like, born that way.” Nursey smirks.

 

Dex makes a groaning noise of frustration. Because everything he’s trying to say is coming out wrong and he doesn't know why he bothered trying to open up. He needs to get out of there before he can make it any worse. He sees Bitty giving him a look of sympathy. He makes a note to ask Bitty later in private.

 

He wipes his hands on his pants and turns to exit the kitchen, until Nurse bumps him and drops the bowl of cherry filling he was mixing. 

 

“Dude not ch-”

 

“Don’t you fucking dare, Nursey!” 

 

“Chill, Dex”

 

“I will mop this up with your limp body!”

 

“Guys-”

 

“NOT NOW CHOWDER” They yell in unison.

 

“You just don't get it! I just. Agh! I just want to ask questions without this whole-” he waves his hands aggressively at Derek “Judgemental Judgypants here!”

 

Nursey chuckles and mutters “So does the whole lgbt community” 

 

“Nursey…” Bittle says softly. He doesn't know if he can interject without more yelling to butt out. Dex is already pushing Nursey out of the way and is out the front door before anyone can stop him. 

 

Halfway to the dorms, Dex realizes he left his whole backpack at the Haus. He stops and stands on the sidewalk for a second. God help him, he was NOT going back for it with his tail in between his legs. He texts Chowder, who immediately writes back that he was planning on bringing it with him when he leaves. Dex keeps walking, deep in thought. He was finally hit on by a guy, but it wasn't Nursey. Dex purses his lips at the thought. He tries to let it go. Derek seems to have settled down in the last month when it comes to his flirtatious actions. Maybe it was just a freshman giddiness thing, the freedom to hit on everyone. He wants to believe he doesn't care about it anymore.

 

The next day in class, Calvin is more comfortable around Dex. He plops down next to him without any of the stiffness of the last day.

 

“Get your online homework done ok last night?” He asks with his eyes closed. “It was a real bitch, let me tell you. I was scrambling all the way up to the last two minutes before it was due. Really thought I wasn’t going to finish for a while.”

 

“Yea, it really threw me for a loop for a while.” Dex responds while taking his notebook out. “Once I figured out the first variable though, the rest came pretty easy.” 

 

“That's what she said.” Calvin snorts.

 

“Aw come on! You can do better than that!” Dex chirps him.

 

“I’ll do you better than that!” he responds, opening his eyes to give Dex a smoldering look he's pretty sure Calvin practices in a mirror.

 

“Pump the brakes there, pal. At least buy me dinner first.” Dex smiles. He’s really surprised at how easy his words are coming. He's not at all anxious or bothered by the subject of their conversation. Not even that it’s directed at him. 

 

‘This is great,’ Dex thinks. ‘I can practice some of my great comebacks so that I'll be ready in case Nursey ever does come at me.’

 

\--- 

 

They play okay that weekend. 

 

Dex and Nursey are a little off their game, but they have a lot of practice at this point with not bringing their beef to the ice. They haven't spoken to each other beyond what’s needed to do their job since the conversation in the kitchen. They still sit next to each other on the bus, but Nurse keeps to his phone and Dex normally has headphones in. 

 

On the ride back Saturday night, Nursey leans over and taps Dex on the shoulder softly. Dex opens his eyes and takes out the earbud near him. 

 

“Here.” Nurse says, handing his phone to Dex, “Just look at this.”

 

It’s open to some instagram profile of a handsome man wearing different versions of full glam makeup. He scrolls through for a second before looking back at Nurse confused.

 

“Okay?”

 

Nurse sighs, defeatedly, reaching for his phone. “Nevermind.”

 

Dex holds his phone out of reach. “No, come on man. You’ve gotta give me at least some context here. Are you looking for my opinion or something? Trying to see if I would be repulsed?”

 

“I don't know really what I was thinking. Yea, I guess I just wanted to know what you thought of it.”

 

“I mean, he doesn't look like a girl, but it looks cool. Like art.”

 

“He’s not supposed to be a girl. He’s just a guy who likes makeup. He’s straight too.”

 

“Okay?” Dex meets Nursey’s eyes. Dex won’t admit it, but when his fights with Nursey cross the line into hostile territory, it throws the rest of his day off balance. He wants to understand, wants this to be okay again. “I don't get it, is that a bad thing? That he’s straight?”

 

Derek pinches the bridge of his nose. He clearly didn’t think this through.

 

“I just, I guess I wanted to show you that life exists outside of your gender norm. Men can wear makeup, girls can be CEOs. It’s just something I didn’t know if you knew was ok. Alright?” 

 

Dex could yell at Nursey right now. The end of his conversation left him wide open for it. But, for once, Dex did not want to argue with Nursey. First off, because his last statement did kind of turn his whole foundation on its side. Second, he was getting this apologetic vibe from Nursey. Bitty must have said something. He’s grateful, really. He doesn't want to admit it, but Nursey’s probably the one best suited to be showing him ‘The World’.  And he normally has more clothes on than Shitty. Bonus.

 

He handed the phone back. “Got any other cool instagrams you can show me?”

 

Derek leans in and touches their shoulders together. He takes the phone and they look at it together for the rest of the ride. An unspoken agreement that the hatchet has been buried.

 

Long weekend games are normally Dex’s favorite but for once he's glad it was only a day trip. This way he can use his Sunday to study in the library and not on a bouncing bus that smells like feet and sweaty men.  He runs into Calvin and they work through their physics practice test together with record speed. They finish in time for dinner.

 

“Wanna head to the dining hall with me? I do owe you dinner” Calvin honest to god winks at him and Dex cracks up with laughter while packing his backpack up. They fill their trays with some of the least questionable food choices and pick out a spot to sit down. The hall was so packed, they end up eating in the back.

 

"This tastes like balls" Dex winces. He probably shouldn't have gone for the 'Taco Casserole'.

 

"And you know what balls taste like?" Calvin replys slyly, looking up from his spoonful of soup.

 

"No its just what I imagine they taste like-HEY!" Dex is cut off by Calvin leaning over and eating the casserole of his fork before he could put it in his mouth.

 

"Dude, I know what balls taste like, and this is much worse." Calvin replies with a sour face.

 

Dex can't help but laugh at it all. He's talking about balls and he's pretty sure Calvin just confirmed his sexuality to him and he's not the least bit uncomfortable like he'd thought he'd be.

 

“Aw man, I can’t remember the last time I had this many hours of free time in a row. Normally when I’m not playing hockey, I’m studying, or eating, or working out.” Dex says as they head for the back stairwell out of the dining hall. “I almost don’t know what to do with myself!”

 

It was faster to take the old stairwell out then belly dance their way through all the tables to the front door. The door to the stairwell closes behind them and the sound of students and dishes leave with it. The stairwell is deathly quiet. 

 

“I could think of some things to do with you” Calvin says, voice low. He’s already close to Dex’s side so he doesn't have far to lean to connect their lips. 

 

Dex freezes instantly but it really takes a second before he registers what's happening. He doesn't want to be forceful and mean, doesn't want to reject Calvin in a way that would hurt his feelings. 

 

Calvin pulls away and just kind of stares back.

 

“I'm sorry. Was that...not okay?” He says cautiously.

 

Dex blinks, still frozen in place. 

 

“Uh, yea. I mean no, but yeah? I mean I'm not really…” gay. He tries to say, but there's this nagging feeling in the back of his head that is keeping him from finishing that sentence. The voice in his head sounds kind of like their old goalie when it says ‘are you sure you aren’t?’

 

“I’m not really sure.” Dex replies, not sure who he's answering.

 

“Oh.” Calvin sounds downtrodden. “Was I misreading the signs?” 

 

“Honestly, no, you weren’t.” Dex says. Because he was flirting back. He just never thought about how Calvin felt, or how he would take it. He didn’t take into consideration Calvin’s feelings at all. Wow, Dex really was good at being an asshole lately.

 

“I’m sorry Calvin. I guess I was leading you on.” He says honestly. It hurts him to say it. Not because it’s the truth but because he just now figured out that's what he was doing and he didn't intentionally want to hurt Calvin’s feelings. He wanted to be friends. “I just. Liked the attention. I wasn’t thinking. I should go. I’m sorry.”

 

Dex turns and heads right back into the dining hall. He starts to fight his way through to the front door when he feels someone stick out their leg to trip him. It’s Nursey, with an odd guarded expression on his face. Dex looks up and a handful of the hockey team is sitting there. 

 

“YO, Dex! Stay!” Says Holster, noticing him. “Let's have some double D-men time!”

 

Dex’s cheeks redden under Nursey’s gaze and he’s way too shaken up by his accidental gay experience to sit and chat with the boys. He stammers out some lame excuses and makes a break for his room. 

 

He really wishes he had gotten Calvin’s number so he can text him and apologize for running away like a dick.

 

He turns in early that night, opting for sleep over self evaluation. Unfortunately, his brain had other ideas. He tried to mull everything over, but his brain would start to short circuit before he could get to any real conclusion. He tossed and turned all night until he eventually just gave up on sleep all together and opened his class reading. His alarm goes off a few hours later at the ass-crack of dawn for practice. His body was dragging from exhaustion, his mind still running at a million miles a second. 

 

If only his good for nothing brain would focus on something useful, like the practice he’s currently stinking up. He skates like shit, shoots like shit, and his work with Nursey is worse than shit. Everytime they finish a drill and head back to the starting line, Nurse’s chirps, which are normally playful advice, are so vicious it throws him for a loop. 

 

At some point, Nursey ends up on the opposing side of their scrimmage, paired with Wicks. Dex had gotten a hold of a break away when Nursey up and checks him. Dex goes flying head first into the boards.

 

“Nurse! Ease off the intensity.” Coach Hall yells from the bench.

 

Dex turns over on the ice to glare at Nurse only to be met by the same look on Nurse’s face. He gets that his off game is frustrating, especially to his line partner, but this is just over the top. He grabs his stick and hooks it around Nurse’s foot while he’s turning to skate away, sending him down. Dex stands over him now, roles reversed. It feels good to turn Nurse’s medicine back on him. See how he feels. Nurse rolls over and stands up but won’t look at Dex.

 

“Poindexter, Bench!” 

 

Dex takes a seat next to Shitty, taking his helmet off to rub at his eyes. He can feel the burn of the delicate skin there and knows they are puffy. 

 

“Fuck, Lemony Snicket, what series of unfortunate events you been through?” Shitty claps his hand on Dex’s shoulder. “You look like shit!” 

 

“Just coming down with a cold, or something” Dex murmurs, trying to brush it off.

 

“Poindexter, hit the showers. You’re done for the day.” Coach Murray says from right behind him.

 

“What?” Is all Dex can stammer out. He hates the idea of being dismissed early from practice. It feels like a shit cherry on top of his already shit sandwich week and It's only Monday morning.

 

“Go to the clinic and get checked. Get something to help you get over it.”

 

“Coach, I’m fine rea-”

 

“This isn’t about your fragile ego, kid. Don’t stay here and get the rest of my team sick. Just get better fast so you can play well. Now go!”

 

Dex is not happy, but does so anyway. There's no way of telling the coach he’s not actually sick without revealing too much so he bites his tongue and storms off to the locker room. 

 

He sits next to Calvin in class that afternoon. Calvin was already sitting on the opposite side of the classroom from where Dex normally sits so he heads over and starts talking before Calvin can pack up and move

 

“Hey man look I need to apologize. What I did was a real dick move. I understand if you don't want you be friends, but I can't be more.”

 

Calvin just sighs and looks straight ahead. “Look what you did, hurt. Yea. But what you're doing now? It’s honest. I can't stay mad."

 

Dex just hands Calvin a stick of gum as a weak apology present and they take notes in a comfortable silence.

 

He sees in the group text that there is a spontaneous Mario Kart and Pie party at the Haus but can’t bring himself to want to go. He just texts back that he’s just going to quarantine himself until he’s feeling better. It's true, even if the sickness isn't physical.

 

Later in the evening, Dex hears his door crack open. He expects it to be Bitty again, with more pie and soup, but it's Nursey.

 

“Hey bud. Can I come in?”

 

“What do you want, Nurse?” Dex just glares.

 

“I wanted to apologize for practice bro. You didn’t do anything to deserve that, I was frustrated. It wasn't right to bring that to the ice.”

 

“Dude, are you seriously giving me the ‘It’s not you, It’s me’ speech right now?”

 

“Yup.” Derek says, anxiously. “So, cool. I’m going to go now.”

 

He’s already out the door when he hears Dex yell “Wait!”

 

Derek pauses for two whole seconds before turning back around to look at Dex.

 

Dex’s cheeks are slightly flushed. 

 

Derek’s eyes trace the flushing patch of skin that stretches over the bridge of Dex’s nose. 

 

“Want to watch TV?” Dex asks, voice pitched slightly higher than normal.

 

There’s a million reasons Dex wants Derek to leave, but just as many to say. 

 

“Sure” shrugs Nurse. He crawls up into Dex’s dorm bed and sits with his back is against the wall, keeping a modest distance between the two of them.

 

They watch ESPN hockey highlights, then switch it to How I Met Your Mother reruns when the program switches to football.

 

They sit in comfortable silence. 

 

Dex jumps a little when he hears the rustling of Derek moving next to him. Then he feels the pressure and warmth of Nurse’s legs draped over his lap. He looks over and Nurse is reclined back against his pillows, hands over his head to hold it at the right viewing angle. 

 

Derek’s lips curl up slightly when Dex looks over, but doesn’t meet his gaze. Just like that, all awkwardness they held was gone again. They are back to being friends, or whatever level of companionship they were working towards. 

 

Dex stares at the screen of his old tube TV but his mind wanders. He thinks about everything new he’s experienced since coming to Samwell. He thinks about the times he’s sheepishly knocked on Shitty’s door to ask a question he was too shy to ask anyone else. He thinks about the time he spent learning programming with Chowder and how great it felt when their code worked right. He thought about how great it was to be playing with a team that was at a higher level than his high school league. He thought about how, when they were in a good place, He and Nursey have made some pretty clutch plays. 

 

He smiles at that and looks over at Nurse. Derek’s eyes are closed and his mouth is still curled upwards at the edges. His signature 5 o’clock shadow was already peeking out and it defined his jaw handsomely. Dex credited the squirming in his stomach to jealousy that he couldn’t grow any decent facial hair even if he let it grow for weeks. His eyes wandered up to Nurse’s hair. The curls looked soft and plush and Dex couldn't help reaching out with a flat palm to pat at them lightly. They depressed under his hand like a sponge that was made out of feathers.

 

That’s the weirdest analogy Dex has ever thought up, but it suits. 

 

Dex is drawn to the movement of Nurse’s lips again. He see’s them curl up even more and realizes that Derek is awake. He huffs and hears Nurse’s chuckle. 

 

‘Faker” slips out of Dex’s mouth.

 

Nurse opens his eyes and laughs louder at that. Dex smiles and laughs a little too. Nurse’s laughter had always been contagious. 

 

“Hey man, I’m like really proud of you lately,” Nursey says, looking up at Dex. “You’ve really showed that you’re not just some conservative bigot.”

 

Dex smiles without thinking about it. Sure he doesn’t need the approval, but it feels good anyways. 

 

Dex and Nursey start really hitting their stride as a D-main pair. They still argue, but there’s no heated undertone to it anymore. Dex learns that when he’s cheerful, his clumsiness with words seems to disappear and he becomes comfortable expressing himself. Unfortunately it only seems to happen in the ice.

 

They lose against Yale that weekend, but it was a close game. Dex and Nursey’s defense was phenomenal and they only gave up one goal all three periods. Its an exhausting day so the team opts to stay in their own rooms in the hotel instead of hanging out together.

 

Dex and Nursey always bunk together during away games. Nursey's old roommate plays for the Yale and invited Nurse out to the post game party. Since it’s nothing but the road home tomorrow, he asks Dex to sneak out with him. 

 

They approach an old worn down 3 story house, typical for college frats. It’s unusually warm inside and there are blue balloons obstructing the view of the ceiling. All the partygoers are dressed in varying levels of beach wear. 

 

“Brad! Dude, you didn’t mention this party had a theme!” Nursey is hugging a guy that Dex vaguely remembers from their game. 

 

“Derek! Bro! Love of my life! How’ve ya been?!” Brad is shirtless, his left nipple catches Dex’s eye. He has a small bar piercing through it. Brad loops his free hand around Derek’s back and rubs at his bicep tattoo. 

 

“Going good! This is my bro, Dex! Dex, Brad.”

 

They fist bump and exchange pleasantries. Brad heads to the keg to get them some drinks. Dex didn’t miss his fingers lingering down Nurse’s side.

 

“Well we’re a little overdressed for this.” Derek laughs, as he whips his shirt off over his head and looks around for a place to toss it. Dex purses his lips, he’s not taking his shirt off.

 

“Brumpgh! Mphsngs!” Brad muffles, his solo cup dangling from where he’s biting it to hold it up. He hands the cups in his hands to Dex and Nurse before retrieving his own from his mouth. 

 

“You’re ring?!” Brad pokes Nurse in the nip with an over exaggerated pouty face.

 

“Ah, yea. Had to take it out for my summer job. It closed up before I could get it back in.” He waves it off nonchalantly, but the air about him says this is a pretty big confession. 

 

“No way, you guys got matching piercings?” Dex lets slip.

 

“Ch’yea man! Did them ourselves. I mean I did Derek and he did me.” Brad lowers his voice, and looks up through his eyelashes at Dex with a killer smirk. “If you know what I mean.” 

 

“If I remember correctly, you wanted to pierce my dick but I wouldn't let you.” Nurse cuts in before Dex can feel awkward about the last statement. Not that this one was any less embarrassing.

 

“I just wanted to get my hands on it.”

 

“I know” Derek smiles.

 

And just like that, Nurse was dialed back up to his old flirty self. Dex’s chest hurts a little and he suddenly wants to be anywhere but standing next to these two. 

 

“I’ll let you two catch up” he says softly and walks toward the beer pong tables.

 

Dex turns the corner and leans against the wall, out of view from Nurse and Brad. He takes a deep, steadying breath and watches a room full of half dressed strangers play pong. A short girl in a coverup approaches and leans on the wall adjacent to him.

 

“Hi!” She says cheerfully. It’s a little forced, but that's not odd when talking someone unfamiliar. 

 

“Hey” He smiles back shyly. 

 

“So I don’t know you, but I’ve got next on the middle table and my partner just ditched me to go have a sassy moment with her boyfriend. Wanna play?”

 

“Sure.” Dex throws out his hand for a shake “Dex”

 

The girl giggles and shakes his hand softly “Amelia”

 

“Amelia! Your friend is missing out, but don’t worry, I’m a pro at the old beer pong!” He tries to sound charming but it all sounds kind of funny and middle-aged dad-like. Amelia just laughs like he’s the most amusing thing she’s ever seen.

 

Dex doesn’t really think he has a chance to score, but he tries his best to hit on Amelia like a gentleman anyways. It’s nice and easy. Amelia is sweet and seems to meet whatever Dex says with a cute reply.

 

A few minutes later, Dex feels a hand squeeze his shoulder and tenses up until he hears the familiar “Yo” 

 

“Not talking to your old pal?” Dex says with a small sour tone as he looks over at Nursey. “I thought you wanted to rekindle the flame.”

 

“Yea?” Nursey raises his eyebrows. “You’ve got a problem with that?”

 

“Sorry man,” Dex sighs and tries to make his shoulders relax. “I really don't want to argue.”

 

“You don’t. Want to argue. With me?” Nursey repeats slowly. He quickly grabs Dex’s arm hard and drags him out the back door. 

 

“Whats up with you?” He confronts Dex once they’re alone on the back porch. “It’s not in you to just roll over and take a chirp. Especially from me.”

 

“It isn’t you! Its just the day and the game, and I don't know anyone here...” Dex tries to stumble through excuses but Nurse’s serious expression, focused on him, is unchanging. 

 

He isn’t believing a word that’s coming out of Dex’s mouth. Dex stops and just sits on the railing. He lets his head fall forward, breaking their eye contact.

 

“I forgot what you were like.” He says without looking up. 

 

“Oh yea?” Nursey’s tone is defensive. “What am I like?”

 

“Flirty! With everyone” Dex’s hands tighten on the railing. “But me.”

 

Dex has to stop talking to regroup himself. He doesn’t feel any less silly now than he did that day in the kitchen with Bitty, but He and Nursey have been getting closer as defensemen and as friends. Dex thinks that maybe getting this off his chest will help some of the  tension he feels in their friendship. His shoulders are practically crawling into his ears with tension and it’s painful. 

 

“I was, I guess, waiting for you to flirt with me and it's been, like, over a whole semester since then and I know I should be over it but I guess it bothers me that you’ve flirted with everyone and I’m not on that list. It’s stupid.” Dex pushes it all out with one breath, feeling his embarrassment increase with each word. He refuses to look up and he’s starting to feel like this was a terrible mistake.

 

Nursey looks at him quietly. The real problem goes unsaid but Nursey picks up on it anyways. 

 

“Dex.” Says Nursey, taking a step forward into Dex’s personal space.

 

Dex gives the rail another squeeze before he looks up to meet Derek’s hazel eyes. 

 

“Did it ever occur to you that I just might like you too?”

 

Dex presses his lips together into a fine line and furrows his brows while digesting the statement. Why would Nursey like him? 

 

Dex feels the cool touch of Nurse’s hand on his cheek and everything clicks. His face relaxes and his mouth gapes open. 

 

“Oh.” is all Dex can say because it makes sense now. He likes Nursey in a romantic sense and he can’t think about it anymore because Nursey’s places his free hand on Dex’s wrist and he’s leaning in. Soft, but dry, lips brush his lightly.

 

Dex doesn't close his eyes right away and he doesn’t kiss back. He just stares at Derek like a deer in the headlights. Then he blinks and he can feel his eyelashes bat against Nurse’s skin and its like the bubble has burst. Nurse pulls away fast but Dex responds faster. He takes the hand that Nurse’s arm isn't holding and uses it to pull Nurse’s neck back down until they are kissing again.

 

Nursey makes a sound in his throat that sounds like a painful whine but his hand tightens around Dex’s wrist and he threads his other fingers through Dex’s fiery hair. Dex is responding now and it's a mix of eagerness and tentativeness.

 

After a few seconds Dex pulls back to take a long breath. He’s shaking pretty hard now and he’s not sure if it's nerves or excitement. They stay there, slightly entangled, for another minute before Nurse suggests they head back to the hotel.

 

Dex catches a glimpse of Amelia playing beer pong with Brad while Nurse goes to find his discarded shirt. 

 

Brad catches his gaze and winks with a smile. He waves at them as they head out.

 

They are outside walking back to their hotel when Nurse breaks the silence. “I never hit on you, because I had this weird feeling about you."

 

"Weird feeling, like a crush?" Dex asks quietly.

 

"Not quite." Derek responds, thinking about how to explain it. "It's like I knew if i did hit on you, it would be opening myself up to the possibility of getting a crush on you. you know?"

 

“Well that sounds ass backwards” Dex huffs.

 

“It would have been torture." Nurse exclaims with a laugh “It would have been like getting a taste of something I couldn't have. I may have had a crush on a straight guy, but I'm not a masochist.”

 

“Guess I’m not so straight after all.” Dex says softly. He’s a little disappointed in himself. He knows everything’s easier with girls. This can get messy and he’s not sure he’s equipped to deal with that. He tries not to think what it would be like to bring Nursey home with him for break.

 

"Yea, I found that out last week when I saw you kissing that guy" Nurse looks away, but Dex is pretty sure Derek's ears are red. "I got jealous."

 

"You saw that, huh?" Dex pauses, "That explains your shitty attitude monday, asshat!"

 

Dex feels Nurses fingers brush against his and he instinctively flinches away. 

 

“Sorry” Dex blushes and can’t look at Nurse. He's embarrassed and a little scared by his lack of experience in this department.

 

They walk in comfortable silence for a bit before Dex bites the bullet and grabs Nurse's hand.

 

Dex finally works up the courage to look up and is taken aback by the look on Nurses face. Nurse is just smiling at him in a genuine manner free from any of it’s normal condensing qualities. A new wave of feelings hit Dex like a freight train and he has to gulp to keep any noises from coming out.

 

They walk back, hand in hand, until they reach the street corner before their hotel. When they turn here, the hotel will be visible. Dex stops walking and just mulls that thought over. When they turn here, they will have to let go of each other’s hands or risk being caught.

 

Derek feels the tug at his arm when Dex stops. He turns and watches the expressions on Dex’s face change from thinking to sad to contemplating. 

 

This time it's Dex who crowds into Derek’s space. He grabs Nurse’s other hand with his and presses their chests together gently. “Derek…”

 

Nurse is surprised by the use of his first name. “Will…” 

 

Dex looks up through hooded eyes. “Don’t call me that!”

 

Then Dex is kissing Nursey. It’s short and sweet and he’s pulling away before Nurse can deepen it. Dex lets go and puts his hands in his pockets and walks across the corner sidewalk, looking at their hotel.

 

Derek gets it. He chuckles and catches up, bumping his shoulder with Dex’s.

 

Back in the room Dex throws himself bonelessly on his queen bed. This whole day has drained him. He feels Nurse plop down next to him and he scrambles to sit up when he feels Nursey start to curl up around him. 

 

Dex is blushing furiously and he almost looks angry. Nurse is smiling. This is all so new to Dex but Nursey is laying in his bed with this lazy smile he’s never seen before today and he's uncomfortable in a good way.

 

Nursey lays on his side, head propped up with his hand and looks at Dex sleepily but content. He breaks the silence by saying, “Date me"

 

Dex makes a strangled sound and coughs.

Suddenly Nursey is sitting up, on a mission. He looks Dex in the eyes and says, “Date me, William Poindexter” and then kisses him hard.

They kiss for a long time. Someone slips a tongue in and Dex is starting to feel hot. 

 

Luckily Nurse pulls away, aware of Dex's unspoken need to take things slow.

 

“I don't think that's a good idea, Nursey.” Dex responds, touching his chin where its starting to redden from Nursey's stubble.

 

“Why not? I'd make an amazing boyfriend.” Nursey almost whines. Then he stops and says more seriously “I want to be the one who gets to guide you through all of your firsts. I want to show you the real world. All of it"

 

“Shining. Shimmering. Splendid?” Dex laughs but winces when Derek’s face gets even more serious. “Sorry. Couldn't help it"

 

Nursey is just staring at him.

 

Dex can’t handle the intensity of the Nursey’s eyes.

 

“Derek, think of the team. What's going to happen if we start playing bad? I can't afford to get kicked off. Literally!”

 

“Dex, look at me. If anything happens, I will voluntarily leave the team before letting them kick you off.”

 

“That's the the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say. Hockey is your life."

 

“And it's yours too, Dex!” Nursey makes a soft exasperated sound and rubs his face with his hands. “I think a shot with you is worth the gamble."

 

Dex's blush heats up his whole neck. He knows it's reached his ears, too. He doesn't know what to say because it's a lose-lose situation. They either date and risk it going sour (which has a high chance with how different they are) or they don't and they have to deal with this awkward sexual tension for three more years.

 

Not to mention, the idea of his first relationship being with a man terrifies Dex. No one's actually wanted to date Dex before. He took his friend to prom. They kissed but promised to never do it again.

 

Nurse must pick up on Dex’s thought process because he’s practically begging now. He just wants to give Dex everything. It's quite obvious the longer the conversation goes.

They kiss in between their sentences, a silent acceptance from Dex who can't seem to put the words together to form a real acceptance. 

 

This is surreal for Dex. Here in front of him is someone whose affection is turned solely on him. It feels like one of those romantic comedies his little sister drags him to. He buries his head into Nursey’s shoulder.

 

Dex allows himself to be pulled down and positioned so that Nursey is curled up against his back. Nursey’s arm is coiled around his side and he silently plays with the chord of Dex’s zip up hoodie. It's a little too new of a situation for Dex to really relax, but he could definitely get used to this. Derek is warm and strong against his back and Dex forgets about the rest of the world outside their hotel room.

 

“Okay” Dex mutters softly, pressing his cheek into his own shoulder where Derek’s arm is resting. “Let’s do this.”

 

They sit together on the bus back, sharing a blanket so their knees can touch. Dex is attempting to read his humanities class reading for the week, but the bumpy bus is making him reconsider his decision. Next to him Nursey is scribbling furiously in a mini notebook he carries around with him everywhere. He calls it his inspirational journal for his creative writing class. 

 

Dex stares out the window, trying to calm his stomach before reading again. He feels the gentle tap on his shoulder and Nurse is shoving his notebook into Dex’s lap. Dex is confused until he looks down and there's a small poem written on the open page.

 

I am made of bullets; shrapnel.

You are solar flares

and soft lips - 

better creatures could love you, I know.

But now they’ll have to get through me.

 

Dex is in no way a poetry guy and he’s sure the complexity of these words go right over his head, but it’s touching. He lets his lips curl up and presses his knee into Nursey’s a little harder than before.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> There's like a handful of pop culture references, can you find them? 
> 
> Also not my poem. It was in my dash while I was writing this and I couldn't not use it. I can't find it again to quote the author though. sorry. google it.
> 
> Also, I'm convinced I'm a shit writer so please drop me a kudo or comment if you disagree and I might just finish writing the next part and/or Nursey's pov.


End file.
